In the past 2 years I have learned so much. I have had many good times and many sad times but each of those times have taught me something and have helped me grow. There are days I focus on the bad things going on or that had happened in my life and I have a "woe is me" day. I know how lucky and blessed I am. I know how good I have it.
In two years my life has gone from wondering if my son will live to wondering what he will be like when he is 5 years old. Two years ago I wasn't sure if Zachary would reach 5 years old. My life was turned upside down and the dreams I had for my newest son and our family were shattered. I learned during that time that while I prayed for Z to be ok, that I also had to pray for my strength to get through it all and I had to pray for me to be able to accept our fate, whatever it may be. When Mom was sick, I learned a little bit of that too.
I remember sitting in the hospital room when the doctor told us that Z's cells were showing cancer and he would need a bone marrow transplant. I was amazed that I did not fall apart right then. After learning what JMML was and how bad it was I remember praying and asking God for the strength to help me through this and that no matter what happened for him to help me accept it. Jason and I just wanted to know what we were up against so we could accept it and come up with a plan. It took a long time but we got a plan and our plan was that this little boy taught me so much and that I needed him probably more than he needed me.
I still do not like the phrase "everything happens for a reason" and am trying to delete it from my vocabulary because there are so many things that happen and I don't see a reason for them happening. Yet, here I am thinking that the events over the past two years did happen for some reason and that reason was to help me be the Mother that Zachary needed. He is a little spit fire and all his "challenges" have taught me patience, kindness, forgiveness and love. I will admit that some days I am weak and forget what I all I learned but I do try!
I hope that 2010 brings much happiness, peace and love to everyone. I pray that any challenges that you are faced with, you have the strength to pull through.
Happy New Year!
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
Thursday, December 17, 2009
And he's five!
Today my sweet Jonathan Daniel turned 5! Yes 5! Some days it seems like I held him for the first time yesterday and then some days the conversations we have make me forget he is only 5. He is a very kind boy and I am impressed with how good he is when he isn't being 5! Ha!
Jonathan is really doing great. He is big and strong and healthy. He's my picker little eater and is so smart and his memory...wow! He can remember so much stuff that it is scary! I love talking to him and getting his take on things. He sang at church with his preschool and he talks about his friends at school. It is amazing.
Zachary is 2 and is behaving like a typical 2 year old. It is like when he turned 2 he realized, "Oh this is how I'm suppose to behave and I have to make up for all the time I wasn't behaving crazy!". He is lucky I find him so darn cute. He is doing very well and making great progress. He is walking more steadily with his Sure Steps and is hitting new milestones. He now sees a speech therapist and he really warmed up to her! She is giving us some great tips on helping him communicate with us. I feel that is his biggest frustration right now.
We had PT today and she discussed some sensory issues and how they can cause so many other problems. But she also reminded me that he is 2 and some of his issues are normal. She wants him to maybe see an occupational therapist and a sleep study nurse. I am all for the both. Sleep would be really really nice. LOL
We got some news over Thanksgiving and I am asking for your prayers. My blog has been a great source of support for me and a place to express my thoughts. I am asking any of you who read this to please pray for my Mother-in-law. I am not going to discuss her personal issues here because I don't feel it is my place. But she was diagnosed with lung cancer that has spread to her liver. Please keep her in your prayers.
I hope each of you have a wonderful Christmas and are surronded by peace and love. Merry Christmas!
Jonathan is really doing great. He is big and strong and healthy. He's my picker little eater and is so smart and his memory...wow! He can remember so much stuff that it is scary! I love talking to him and getting his take on things. He sang at church with his preschool and he talks about his friends at school. It is amazing.
Zachary is 2 and is behaving like a typical 2 year old. It is like when he turned 2 he realized, "Oh this is how I'm suppose to behave and I have to make up for all the time I wasn't behaving crazy!". He is lucky I find him so darn cute. He is doing very well and making great progress. He is walking more steadily with his Sure Steps and is hitting new milestones. He now sees a speech therapist and he really warmed up to her! She is giving us some great tips on helping him communicate with us. I feel that is his biggest frustration right now.
We had PT today and she discussed some sensory issues and how they can cause so many other problems. But she also reminded me that he is 2 and some of his issues are normal. She wants him to maybe see an occupational therapist and a sleep study nurse. I am all for the both. Sleep would be really really nice. LOL
We got some news over Thanksgiving and I am asking for your prayers. My blog has been a great source of support for me and a place to express my thoughts. I am asking any of you who read this to please pray for my Mother-in-law. I am not going to discuss her personal issues here because I don't feel it is my place. But she was diagnosed with lung cancer that has spread to her liver. Please keep her in your prayers.
I hope each of you have a wonderful Christmas and are surronded by peace and love. Merry Christmas!
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