Must be doing something right!

There are days where I wonder why I was chosen to be a Mother because I don't feel very motherly and would love to disappear for a bit. Yes I love my boys more than life itself and I know how blessed I am but some days...I just need a break.

And then when I think I am failing as a Mother my precious 3 year old (soon to be 4!) shows me this wonderful side of him and teaches me a few things. He is a doll that Jonathan. He is a very kind boy and loves everyone. He loves to talk to strangers and is very polite. At home, he is a bit more, um what is the word, rowdy?! LOL

Since mom passed away I have made sure I talk to him about her, show him the photobook I made and tell him how much I miss her. He takes it all in and he knows who she is and that she is in heaven with Buster and God. He knows that Grandma Keeven and God are both in his heart and with him all the time. Sometimes what he knows and shares with me makes me slow down and take time to smell the roses. A few days ago I got up to take my shower, both boys were awake too so I put them in front of the tv and prayed I could squeeze in a quick shower before Blue's Clue's was over. I kept hearing noise and tried to hurry up. As I came out I asked Jonathan if he and Zachary were ok and his reply was "yes" and then he said, "Mom your Mom was here!". Wow, that's crazy. I said, "what" and he said "Your mom was here." and after asking what about 3 more times and where she was he told me "Yes, your mom was here. You know Grandma Keeven that is in heaven? She was right there by the door!".

My first thought was that someone had tried to break in but then I knew that he had seen her. Some form of her. I think Mom popped in for to check on the boys for me. Call me crazy but I think the boys see her a lot. Jonathan talks about her a lot and I love it. Sometimes I cry and sometimes I just sit and listen and smile. I love talking about my Mom and I especially love talking to Jonathan about her. Sure there are tears but its all good. He also informed me that he wanted to have his birthday party at Grandpa Keeven's house because that is where we had mine. Hey, as long as Grandpa doesn't care it's a LOT cheaper for me!

Z-man is doing great! In the past week he has changed so much. I swear he is the happies baby on Earth, even though Jonathan says we all get the grumpies and Zachary gets them a lot! He charms every person he meets. He is a special little person and I am so glad I was chosen to be his Mom. He adores JD. His appetite has increased and maybe even doubled! He loves the bottle and will now drink 7 - 10oz sometimes! This will be after he eats dinner. He is on all table foods and can chow with the big boys. He eats anything and chews really well! He is cutting 2 teeth on the top. He had a fever tonight, very low, and was a bit fussy but Daddy got him to sleep. I can't believe that in 5 weeks that little Boo will be 1 year old!

We went to see the Urologist for his follow up appt and he said he heeled up very nicely and has good skin! Despite the wee bit of diaper rash he had going on. He drinks from the sippy cup and bottle and anything else he can so this has resulted in lots of wet diapers and lots of leaks!

My Dad lost one of his dear friends this week. My prayers go out to Ray's wife and his kids. Dad cared a lot about him and I'm sure this was really hard for him.