Happy Memorial Day

I have to be honest, I never gave much thought to Memorial Day until this year. It was really just a long weekend to kick off summer by going camping. I know it sounds heartless but it's true.

This year I offered to go to my Mom's grave w/my dad. Huge steps for both of us b/c he has never been and I am scared I will make him cry. I know it isn't me making him cry, it is missing my mom that makes him cry but still. We headed out there and my niece and nephew went with us. We bumped into my sister and BIL out there. My word, the cemetery was packed! Because Dad was in the Navy, Mom was burried at Jefferson Barracks National Cemetery. The boy scouts put flags on each grave and it is gorgeous and just amazing. There were So many people and it so amazing. The way there none of us really talked but we did talk the whole way back. It was nice.

As I left, I gave dad one of the books I made for the boys. I explained to him that it was a book with pictures of mom because I wanted my boys to always remember her or know about her. I told him to look at it if he wanted and in his own time. I want him to see it but I feel like I am reminding him of what he lost. Yet, he alreayd knows what he lost and maybe he can smile at the memories the book brings to him.

I guess I could compare it to the things Jonathan says to me. When we got to the country on Friday he says, "Oh mom is Buster here?". Little guy thought maybe we just left Buster in the country. I told him no, he was still in heaven. I smiled at his sweet innocence.

Later when I told him I was going to visit grandma's grave he asked where she was. I reminded him she was in heaven. He then asked me, "Can we go and get her?". Yes that made me cry. I told him that we could not go get her but I really wished she could. It was a hard weekend for us but with each event that our family is together, the stronger we become.

Mom you would be proud...we ate dinner before 10pm every night! :-) We all know you hated the late dinners out there, so you would be happy to know it was more like 8pm! I miss you so much.

I know it is late in the day, but I hope you all took a moment to think about the loved ones that are no longer here with you.