Tears from Heaven

Today my nephew Karl and his fiance Holly got married. It was a nice ceremony outside and the reception was at a wonderful park. We were running late, as usual, and it kept raining. Well the midwest here doesn't need any more rain and I kept thinking how the rain would ruin their day. No bride should have to deal with rain. It was a strange sporadic rain. It wasn't the big fat drops, it was tiny heavy sprinkles. I looked up to the sky and could see the sun, gray skies and darker gray skies. I kept thinking "What is going on!". Finally, I told Mom that this nonsense had to stop! Not only for Karl and Holly but for all the poor families that have lost their homes to the flooding. It isn't fair.

To the left is the happy couple. It was strange not to have Mom there. It was the first family wedding since she died and it was very strange. I thought of the song, "Tears from Heaven" and realized Mom was there. She managed to stop the rain so Holly could make it down the aisle without getting wet. I think she had to tease everyone a little bit and make us all nervous. Ha ha!

Of course on our way there we drove down a highway that at one point last week was closed due to flooding. It was raining and I look to my right and was like, "Crap is that water?!" (ok so I didn't say crap but I'm trying to keep it clean). The water was right there! I mean really, right there! I was freaking out b/c it was raining and I kept thinking, "Drive faster Jason!". I did manage to pull out my camera and take a few pics. In this first picture you can seehow close it is to the road and how high it is by the sign. If you look closely you cans see a roof top. Now I believe this is the concession stand from the soccer park that is, well underneath that water.

7 months and no teeth!

Hi everyone it's me, Zachary. Mommy is getting ready for work and Jonathan is sleeping...it's 645am and he is still sleeping. The 2 of us gave Mommy a run for her money. She kept saying, "If you 2 would just go to sleep!". We made her sleep in our room. It was a big slumber party!!!

I turned 7 months this past Saturday. Mommy, Daddy and Jonathan were camping and they left me and Harley with Aunt Sandy. We had fun. It was really funny when I puked and scared her.

Let's see, I am now eating solids. I like my peas, squash, sweet potatoes, peaches and apple sauce. I don't spit as much out now b/c I realized that it's good stuff!!! My reflux is nearly gone and Mommy is so happy! I am just a little chatterbox. I don't sit up or have any teeth but I roll around and scoot, well push myself around w/my heels. Jonathan thinks I'm a toy and carries me around when Mommy isn't looking. Oh she gets so mad! I think it's so much fun!!! He is a great big brother and I love him so much.

I got my picture taken last month and mommy still hasn't mailed them out. She is so bad about that. I'll work on her this week to get those done. I know my family in Iowa is eager to see how much I've grown. So are my cousins in Japan and Las Vegas.

I better go b/c Mommy is almost done. Have a great day!
Love,
Zachary

Headed in the right direction

Zachary had his appt for his VUCG and he did GREAT! He is a little superman. He only squirmed and whimpered a wee bit when the inserted the catheter and then he laid very still and peed on que! LOL

It was a breeze and they said the prelimenary results look great! He will look at the results a bit more indepth and send them on to the pedi.

We are moving along in the right direction so let's hope someone cleared the path and there are no more pot holes! This little one's special Angel must me working overtime to protect him! Thank you Mom!

He is a true delight and just rolling and squealing and eating his sweet potatoes and carrots! Yep, he is eating more solids!!!! Can you believe he will be 7 months on Saturday? Wow!

Worry, Worry, Worry

Well over the weekend and on Monday I started to get a bit worried about Z. He was vomitting, not eating much and his soft spot was sunken in. So on Tuesday I made my way to Dr. Kate's office. As we were waiting Z had one of his reflux coughing fits and 3 of the nurses came out to see him. "We have Baby Radar" and Z just lit up and flirted with all of them. Everyone commented on him and of course the staff "knows" about him. They are all so wonderful there.

Zachary is up to 15lbs and 1 oz! His soft spot was a concern but she said that since he was drooling so much, he was not dehydrated to the point we needed to treat it. If the drooling stopped, appetite decreased or he tossed his cookies, well formula, any more then we are suppose to give him Pedialyte. She assured me his cough was his reflux cough. I really did know that but these days all I do is second guess myself.

He goes for his VCU catheter test thing on Monday. Boy this should be fun. I am already queasy thinking about it. Really he is doing so well and if I could stop worrying, I'd see that. He adores Jonathan. When i put them to bed I often find Jonathan in Z's crib and they are playing. It is the cutest thing.

We are trying to find preschool for Jonathan. i don't think the school district program will work b/c of the hours. I will find something in time. I just want him to go somewhere a few hours where he doesn't know anyone so he can adjust to that for when kindergarten comes along.

As for me, I'm beginning to realize that I haven't taken time to take care of myself and my feelings. I don't think I've ever truly grieved for my Mom. I mean when she died I was very pregnant, had Z, Z got sick and my life was consumed on carrying for him and worrying about him. I'm angry and sad a lot more these days. I hate that my mom is gone and Z will never meet her. Jonathan talks about her quite a bit and will ask if we can go to heaven to get her. I pray to have dreams where I talk to her. I don't want to be angry and sad so I have to take some time for me and allow myself to cry and feel all the emotions that I feel. I can't take care of everyone and everything else and ignore myself. That's my new goal, each day do one thing for me and not feel guilty! Don't we all deserve that?

Kidney Ultrasound

Yesterday Z had his kidney US. The doc came in and said, "looks fine" and left the room. Glad my insurance company pays her $200 for those 2 little words!

Anyway, she said the look good. We were scheduled for a second test that I was unaware of but because he is still on his meds we have to wait. So we will go back in a week or so.

The second test involves some not so fun stuff...a catheter and they inject dye into his bladder to check for the kidney reflux. This will NOT be fun!

Otherwise, he is in a great mood and doing well! He is trying to eat more solids but needs to learn to keep them in his mouth.

More testing...

Because Zachary has a UTI we have to take him to the hospital tomorrow for a kidney/renal ultrasound. I am not sure what all is involved in this test but I am convinced the kind ladies in registration will soon know us by sight!!!

Any prayers you can spare will be appreciated.

UTI it is!

I mean seriously, can't this baby catch a freakin' break? Hello he is 6 months old and yes, I know other babies have been through so much more and that kills me but at the same time this is my baby and I am ready for some normalcy for him.

We had his 6 month well baby today. No shots until at least 1 year and as cold and flu season approaches, she will let me know what I can and can't do w/him to protect him. Bubby, as JD calls him, lost 3 oz but is around the 20th% for weight and is 26" long and that is 50th %. His head remains in the, I think she said 10%. So he is gaining and meeting milestones. No bumps so she doesn't feel he is teething but he sure likes to bite!!!

And yes, my Z man has a UTI. He hasn't had a fever since Thursday but he has been fussy. I convinced myself that it was teething/virus. Around 530 Dr. Kate called to tell me that she was very shocked to see the results. So we started some antibiotics tonight and tomorrow they will schedule some standard kidney testing to check for kidney reflux.

I begged Dr. Kate to sneak a peek at my ear as it has been hurting for a week but I ignored it b/c I had more important little ones to watch after. She said I do have some fluid behind it but it is not red. I got some numbing drops, sudafed and she said to try mucinex. Let me say this, if an ear infection is worse than this pain, all these little ones with EI's are my heros!

Z had his first camping trip on Memorial Day Weekend. He did great. We even had tornado warnings and I had to run and get hm from the pop up in the boring down cold rain! He was a trooper!

Jonathan had a blast as usual and discovered the joys of a slip n slide curteousy of his cousin Sarah. He had so much fun!

Here is Z in the hammock and Jonathan striking a pose...

And here is the slip n slide video...