Tomorrow is Mom's birthday...the second one without her. I still find myself thinking "Oh wait until I tell Mom" or "I need to call Mom" only to realize she is no longer here...yet again. Yes it has gotten easier but I think part of me will always "forget" she is gone and remember that she is gone will always hurt a little bit.
As I type this I am watching Moms favorite soap opera...The Young and The Restless. She loved that show and I can remember watching it when I was in kindergarten and home with her. I went to catch the bus AFTER Y&R was on. A few of my sisters and I still watch it and talk about it. I think in some strange way it will always connect us to Mom. When a few of us are together and we start talking about it someone, usually one of our husbands or someone who doesn't watch it, reminds us that it is just a tv show. Well yes it is, but it has been a part of our life for a very long time and part of our relationship with our Mother! So in a way, yes it is real.
Tomorrow I think Jonathan and I will make a cake and he asked if we could sing happy birthday to grandma. I told him of course and that she would hear us and smile.
Happy birthday Mom. I miss you like crazy and will love you forever. You will remain in my heart and always be a part of my life.
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