Happy Valentine's Day and Happy 12 weeks to Zachary!
Today the visiting nurse came and unfortunately Zachary lost 4 oz. He is down to 8 lbs and 14 oz. Dr. Rob called and said that because Z had a rough week due to his reflux (lots of puking) we will let this one slide and weigh him again early next week. If he lost more then we will have to reasses his situation and possibly put the feeding tube back in. :-( Why can't we just feed him chocolate cake? Steak and potatoes?
As for his blood counts, the WBC was up to 12K but it is still good. His counts are good so nwo we focus on eating! No projectile vomitting today! YIPPEE! Maybe he can keep this trend going.
I have had several people tell me how strong I am. Can I just tell you all that I am not that strong. I remember when a friend told me about her son's battle w/cancer and I asked her, "How did you do it?" and she said, "You just do". I never really got it until now. It is not that you are superwoman but you do what you have to do! You do it for that sweet little child smiling up at you (or puking on you). What wouldn't I do for him? I truly feel that my Mom's illness in April helped prepare me for this battle. When all 9 of us siblings were in FL we did a lot of bickering and there were a lot of misunderstandings about Mom's diagnosis but I remember my cousin telling us that we are only hearing what we want to hear. Some of us heard the good and some heard the bad. With Mom we were in limbo not knowing what was going on. She fought so hard for those 6-7 weeks and it was so hard on all of us. The one thing it taught me was to take it day by day and celebrate ANY good news! I wish Mom were here now to help us celebrate the good days but I know she is cheering us on from up above.
So the answer to my own question, "How do you do it?"? I keep it real. I focus on the positive but don't forget the reality of it all. You can't get caught up in the negative. I have my friends and family and they help me more than they will ever know.
I have to add a special thank you here...Pat and Nancy I want to thank you both so much for taking care of my Dad while he is in FL. I am so glad he has the both of you to keep an eye on him. Nancy I hope you are feeling better soon!
2 comments:
I think you are amazing, Jen! So many hugs, and we are continuing to pray for Z!
Jen, I understand what you mean about having no choice and just doing what needs to be done, but the thing is, being able to do that DOES make you strong - it truly does. Being able to copy with the fear and uncertainty and STILL get up each morning and be strong for your boys and your family is incredible and DOES make you a supermom. Never, ever underestimate the power that lies within you. You're amazing.
((((HUGS))))
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