August

In St. Louis, August means HOT! Temps in the 100's, air so thick it sucks the life out of you and the constant sound of the air conditioner running.

In my heart, it means Mom and Dad's anniversary. August 3rd. Last year it was such a busy happy time for all of us as we prepared to celebrate their 50 years of marriage. We watched Mom dance with Dad for the first time in many years. This year, we will go to Dad's in the 100 degree weather and barbecue. Are we doing it for Dad, or for us? I don't know.

The past week has been a rough one. Jason's Aunt Nancy passed away and she was a great woman and she was loved by many. Even if I hadn't known her, I would have known how incredible she was just by looking at the pictures. Actually, his entire family is pretty great. No, I'm not saying that because some of them read my blog, ha ha. I am saying that because they all welcomed me into their family without any questions. They were all so kind and treated me as one of them.

His Uncle Denny (Nancy's husband) passed away in December. I can't imagine the pain their kids and grandkids have felt and all they have gone through...losing both parents within 8 months. It is not fair. As I watched the slide show I saw their wedding pictures and I imagined the 2 of them in heaven shining down on their family and letting them know it's okay, they are together again.

I also noticed how strong and dominant those Foster genes are! I could see Jason and even Zachary in the pictures of Uncle Denny.

This was the first funeral I attended since Mom's and I tried so hard to be strong but in the end, I used the boys as my excuse and we sat in the "cry room" at the funeral home. It was nice because I could hear the service and both boys fell asleep. And well, I avoided a potential breakdown that I didn't want to happen because it just wasn't the place for it. Now that I am back in St. Louis, I had my breakdown. Jonathan told me it was okay, Grandma would be here soon. It's funny because I will think I'm doing okay and then I stumble across something, an item, memory, song, tv show and the pain comes flying back at me.

Jonathan has a "special box" where I keep cards and stuff that he has gotten from family and friends. We opened it to look at it and I found the card Mom gave me at his shower. She also gave me to sets of baby booties. In the card it said how she found these booties and that Grandma Keeven made them and since I was the youngest grandchild she would want me to have them. She then wrote, "I know Grandma is looking down on us.". Yes and now the 2 of them are looking down on us. Too bad it hurt so much.

I promised I'd post more frequently but I forgot so now you get a long post about my sappy feelings and then the last part about the boys. The boys were total and complete angels for the trip up to Iowa and back. I never knew how good Jonathan could be. I was so proud. He can be a very polite and loving child. He was happy to see his great grandma and great papa. "They have blocks, stairs and puzzles!" I know it did Grandma (and everyone there) well to see Zachary and see how well he is doing. I just didn't realize that if you don't see him everyday, you could really think the worst of his situation. I am glad we went up there just sorry it was for a funeral. I wish we had made it up there sooner. We are heading back up this Friday to meet my friend Alana and her family. We are going camping! She is one of my online mommy friends and I am so excited to meet her.

Zachary truly is doing well. I still read up on JMML and NF1 because while I try not to obsess on it and as much as I want to believe the worst is behind us, I never will. I know that kids with bone marrow transplants can still have JMML come back. They say it never really goes away. No i don't know if had it but that doesn't ease my mind. However, my sweet happy baby is just that...sweet and ever so happy. His smile lights up a room. He is tiny and precious. I had the parents as teacher lady come out to evaluate him and she feels he is right on target. He is a wee bit behind on sitting up but she said to give it another month or 2 and then we may need to get some physical therapy.

She was going to refer him to a statewide program but our oh so wonderful (sacrasm) Governor, Matt Blunt, decided that he didn't feel the MO First Steps or Early Intervention Program was very important so he cut the program. What a swell guy! Glad I voted for him! So because of him, kids won't even qualify for an evaluation until they are 4 months behind on a milestone. I mean really, what an idiot. I just don't see how such a wonderful program can be treated so poorly. Thank goodness he felt he did everything he set out to do so there is no need for him to run for office again. Are you kidding me? What an ego!